


Studmuffin

by nashirah



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bathroom Sex, Endearments, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor, Innuendo, Lawyers AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-02
Updated: 2012-12-02
Packaged: 2017-11-20 03:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/580675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nashirah/pseuds/nashirah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not a secret that Stiles Stilinski hates Derek Hale and Derek hates him back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Studmuffin

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "pretending to be married" and posted [on my tumblr](http://lonewolfed.tumblr.com/post/36975864144/its-not-a-secret-that-stiles-stilinski-hates).
> 
> It was supposed to be just a snippet, but then an entire ficlet happened? And there might be more coming? I lost control over my life.

It’s not a secret that Stiles Stilinski hates Derek Hale and Derek hates him back.

They’ve been enemies ever since Stiles trespassed on Derek’s property more than ten years ago. Trespassed as in smashed his car into Derek’s fence. Oh well.

So they share mutual hatred and it’s never ceased to exist between them. Stiles is more than fine with it. Actually, he quite enjoys it. There were prank wars, prank calls and prank e-mails, something to entertain himself with during long study sessions for Stiles’ LSATs and then during every exam period ever.

But.

But Stiles is the only one allowed to be the cause of Derek’s eternal misery. He feels a surprising amount of anger building up inside him when he sees Derek with a beautiful, blonde woman.

They’re at one of the hundreds of charity parties Stiles has to attend for the sake of maintaining good image of his new firm, and Derek’s – a coincidence, alright – working there too (long story), so it’s not really unusual for a beautiful woman to approach him. Stiles is a man enough to admit that Derek’s kind of ridiculously attractive.

Now, Derek looks awful though. Stiles knows what Derek looks like when he’s uncomfortable and now’s one of those times, but it’s off. It’s not his usual uncomfortable, it’s a panicked uncomfortable. And the woman smiles wolfishly at him, patting him lightly on his cheek and Stiles just…

“Here you are, honey!”

Derek flinches a bit when Stiles hooks his arm with Derek’s, but then he notices who has invaded his private space and his eyes narrow. Stiles takes no offence, trying to convey his brilliant plan to him using only his eyebrows instead. Derek doesn’t seem to understand, but Stiles knows he will catch up quickly, if prompted the right way.

And Stiles learned all there is to Derek Hale over the years.

“We haven’t been introduced, I believe?” he addresses the woman, who scoffs slightly, but still tries to smile at them.

“I believe we haven’t yet. Kate Argent. And you are…?”

“Just Stiles. Derek’s _plus one_ ,” Stiles shakes Kate’s outstretched hand and watches the smile fade from her face. “His fiancé, if we need to label our love.”

“Oh.” Now she’s getting pissed, and Stiles can’t hide his smirk anymore. His plan is working. If only Derek caught up with the plan already, instead of standing frozen still next to Stiles.

“And how come I’ve never heard about it? Such news spreads pretty fast here, usually.”

Stiles can feel the moment Derek snaps out of it. He relaxes and unhooks his arm from Stiles’, putting his hand on the small of Stiles’ back.

Stiles wills his cheek not to redden.

“We wanted to keep it private for now,” Derek says, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Success, Stiles thinks. “Could you bring us some punch, _babe_?”

“Certainly, _studmuffin_.”

It’s his cue to leave, he knows that Derek will manage on his own from now on. But then Derek squeezes his ass. He might be overdoing it, but _oh my god Derek’s hand on Stiles’ ass_.

Stiles needs a moment. Or two. Or a few weeks, really, to recover from the shock.

He stumbles into the men’s bathroom and splashes his face to at least get rid of the pink flushed tone of his skin. Obviously it doesn’t work and he can’t be bothered anyway, because a few seconds later a rather angry Derek Hale storms in.

And locks the door behind him.

Stiles swallows audibly because he’s so dead. He won’t even get the chance to explain himself and he prepared quite a speech, pleading not guilty.

But then Derek attacks Stiles’— mouth?

And it’s the messiest, hottest kiss Stiles has been ever a participant of.

Stiles’ brain stops working and when he starts to understand what is happening again, he’s pinned against the bathroom door, his hands in Derek’s hair.

“Wait, Jesus, hold on a sec. Before we continue, mmmm. Yeah. That.” Stiles is getting sidetracked, because Derek kisses a spot on his neck and his stubble is surely giving him a severe case of stubble burn. He wanted to know something, what was it? Oh, right. “Can you— I mean— what?”

Derek leaves Stiles’ neck and Stiles can tell it feels rather lonely already. Derek’s company is strangely enjoyable for his various body parts.

“Apparently we’re engaged,” Derek answers finally.

“Exactly! You should wait until you put a ring on it before you put a dick in it.”

Derek laughs.

“Do you want me to?”

“Fuck, no,” Stiles says and drags Derek’s face back to his neck.


End file.
